How can I be a Writer, without BEING a Writer?

We have just had tax season here in Canada, and like so many things, it sucks! You get your net income up on screen, and think where did all that money go? Then you see the amount you owe, and think where the Heck I am supposed to get that amount from? 

I embarked on this year as being the year I pursued my dreams with gusto! It began with sending my novel off to a publisher, sending out shorter pieces to journals, and embarking on my second novel. It all began so well! Then April 30th hit and you think.... where is this going? I sit at my desk at every free moment, all day on Tuesdays and I write... but for what? I have no guarantee anything is going to be published, and if it is, will anyone buy it? Writing is my passion. I have characters and stories in my head all the time, and they push to come out. If I don't let them out I become a very grumpy woman. However, when I have a great writing day, and then look at my bank account I become that grumpy (sometimes terrified) woman anyway. 

There are so many hopes and aspirations built up when thinking about a career in writing. Firstly, my dreams are realized. Secondly, my ambition of becoming a uni/college professor also become attainable. These are great visions, and could possibly stabilize my income. But, there is that looming fact, constantly present... what if I don't get published? What if no one likes my writing, and no one invests in my voice? Then what? I end up broke, homeless, and without a career. Sure it's pessimistic, but isn't it also realistic?

Then you have the other end of the scale. I quit. I say to myself "no this is unattainable" and I pack up my stories and stop writing. I fill my days instead with a 'normal'/ non creative job where I can rely on a steady income. Sure I won't follow my dreams, sure I may become depressed, and I probably won't ever make a 'good income', but it will be stable. 

Both plans have their pros and their cons, but which is the right one to pursue. It's the age old question of what am I meant to be doing with my life, to write or not to write that is the question? 

Without guarantee there is always a risk, and without risk what sort of boring life are you living. I was always brought up with my sister and brother-in-law pushing me to do what I love. I love to write, but when does a dream go too far? How low can a bank account drop before you call it a day? 

I have spent the day struggling with this question. I couldn't focus on my current novel, and so I turned to a short story. It's dark. It's crime. It's like nothing I have ever written before... but is that fate/God's way of telling me what to do. Don't panic. The words will always come, and hopefully... someday... so will the pay cheque. 

A Publication!

So it has taken a while, but back in January, along with my novel I sent out two pieces to various journals for publication, and low and behold in March I received my first YES! 

This year 2018 was about becoming published, about letting go of my fears and letting my writing go. It was a BIG step as I am such a chicken about it but here it is! 

This was a piece I finished back at University and I recently rewrote it for fun. 

A TEMPESTUOUS PURCHASE


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My Writers Fest

This week has been completely awesome. I have had such an unbelievably eye opening experience. Over the week I  have attended 8 events of all different genres, and I have bought countless books and gotten them all signed! Every minute has brought new insights and a new sense of excitement at this amazing literary world. My husband said earlier, "every night, after these events she's like a six year old whose just drunk a bottle of pop!" This was the world I set out to find at Oxford, and although the experience there was amazing and I learnt so much, (and found a husband) I lost the passion I once had for books, storytelling and the journey imaginations can take you on. This week has reopened my eyes, re-birthed my passion for the world of literature as it were. It is something I had lost and was worried I would not find again. I though perhaps all the critical analysis had killed the part of me that so enjoyed breaking open a new book, or discovering a new author, and just being in that moment with them. 

Listening to the likes of Sarah Dunant, someone who is so immersed in her world you cannot help but be sucked into her imagination as she reads, and discusses her characters. (I could literally sit and listen to her talk all day). Laughing out loud at people's views of sex and love in our social media society with Karen Connolly and Tom Perrotta on Monday literally had me in stitches. The journey to the North with Ed O'Loughlin and his fellow panelist gave me a new area to explore in my imagination, one I had never really considered before. These are just a few of the events that have held me enthralled this week. Of course, this evening could be the most eye opening of all as I hear the legend that is Margaret Atwood speak. 

Literature is just such an amazing place to be. I wish I could read all day everyday and never encounter reality. It is so nice to be back in that mind-set. It was one I grew up in and lost somewhere along my route to academia. This week and this festival has brought it back to me. 

Thank you Vancouver Writer's Festival for bringing such an amazing lineup of speakers to the city!

Accidental AMAZING Day!

Have you ever had a day that everything just slots perfectly into place and its amazing? Today was that day! 

It began with a parking spot... if anyone has been to Granville Island in Vancouver then you will know parking is a nightmare. Now imagine a Writers Festival where there are multiple sold out events added onto the normal traffic. Everyone was circling! I went to my normal parking lot and it looked full, until I found a tiny, weeny spot hidden behind an SUV! (Wow 1) 

I ran to the venue where two of my favourite authors were reading. I could not get a ticket but I joined the line of people waiting and hoping! At five minutes past the event's scheduled start we were all given seats!! (Wow 2) 

The talk itself was incredible. Sarah Dunant was the most inspiring person to listen too. Such advice and insight. Jennifer Robson was so interesting and funny! It was a great few hours. 

As everyone was leaving I got up the courage and leaped onto the stage to talk to the MC,  I don't want to talk about what happened next yet but... Wow 3 took place. 

I next went into the foyer to get my books signed, and I started by talking to Jennifer Robson, (mum's favourite author also). I mentioned what my mum was currently going through and how books were helping her 'battle the beast'! She instantly grabbed a business card and told me to send her my mums details as she wanted to send her a box of books! (Wow 4)

I moved along to Sarah Dunant... who recognised me from my question I had asked earlier. She then asked me about my book and we had an amazing conversation... my hero and I... just chatting! It was an amazing experience. (Wow 5)

I got back to my car to find a ticket. I had parked 'out of the lines'. When I had originally parked I had not even seen the lines as they were under the car next to mine (who also had a ticket). I was so in awe with what had happened in the venue I didn't really care about the ticket. I did think it was slightly unfair, so when I got to work early I called the dispute line. The ticket was cancelled... when does that ever happen? (Wow 6). 

I proceeded to my afternoon class and BOOM, everyone knew their lines, song lyrics and dances! It was amazing! The students were perfect... perfect pre-schoolers that is an oxymoron almost (Wow 7)! 

Are you getting the picture? A completely accidental day that led to such wonders.... NUTS!